My Self-Care Challenge: I will not talk myself out of ….

By Guest Blogger Christian Martin

Recently, I was driving to work, listening to the radio and heard an interview in which the speaker expressed not talking himself out of meeting a goal.  This brief clip of an interview was exactly what I needed to hear.  I am in transition; my only child will soon graduate from high school and move to a college campus.  We have talked about and planned for college his entire life, so of course, I am very happy.  Now I need to think about myself and consider my goals.

There was a time when I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life after my child would go off to college.  I had a plan, I wrote about it in my journal, and talked about it.  However, I had no idea that I would get older while I was raising my child and that I would change physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Now, I think about those dreams and goals differently.  Does that mean that I should abandon those dreams and goals or blow the dust off of them and reassess my commitment to them?

I had talked myself out of the dreams and goals that I set, 18 years ago, because I began to see myself as less important than my child; I valued him more than myself.  I became less important and less relevant partially because the world changed as I was aging.  Well, I have now decided to create a transition plan.

I have decided to reconsider my long-established dreams and goals to determine my current desire and commitment to them and set new dreams and goals.  My long-established dreams and goals seem unattainable because of my current perspective.  So what should I change, my dreams and goals or my perspective? Perhaps, I should change both my dreams and goals and my perspective.

I am committed to exploring my goals and dreams. I will not talk myself out of any dream because it seems unattainable based on current circumstances.  Circumstances are subject to change. I am subject to change.  All of the reasons, obstacles, challenges that I have used to talk myself out of living my dreams and goals may be irrelevant.

When my son would tell me that he wanted to do something, I would say, okay let’s plan for that. I almost never said, ‘That it is not possible’ or ‘no.’  Now, I am working to convince myself that if I want to do something, I should plan for it instead of saying, ‘That is not possible.’  I will do for myself what I have done for my son for 18 years – I am worthy of the same thoughtful planning and sacrifices that I have made for my son.  There is another important factor – FAITH.

How does my faith impact this time of self-care and transition?  I must share my thoughts and feelings about my life with God as I would share with a trusted friend.  He is as concerned about my life and future as I am.  He did not forget about the thoughts and plans that he has for me – I may have forgotten, but He did not.  So I must trust that God will lead me to His will and cause his thoughts and plans to become my desire.  When I want something, I go for it. I work around obstacles, and I navigate the path that God sets for me to reach my desires.  I pray that you will benefit from reading my journey to self-care and that you would stop talking yourself out of …… You fill in the blank.

Christian Martin is a professional and mother who has learned to ‘do it afraid.’ Her motto is I can do it all, but not all at once.

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Author: micheleaikens

Happily middle aged and excited about life, though currently exhausted. Learning to undo a lifetime of failed attempts at perfection to simply become a woman being. #Softbutnotfragile

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